Recovery isn’t erased by struggle, it is revealed by it. The darkest times show us who we are deep down, they teach us self-compassion, they throw us into the depths of self-reflection and they help us nurture ourselves into a place where we can find a sense of self-worth when we’ve maybe never had it or have lost it. Our struggles open us up to the building the foundation of how we want to start valuing and accepting ourselves.
These hard times in our lives are more valuable because they show us compassion for all of who we are. Healing is a complicated, messy, painful process. It isn’t about being flawless or being on a linear journey where we suddenly align with the societal constructs set of who we should be. The addict in recovery shouldn’t be kicked out of saying they’re in recovery because they relapse when relapse is just another part of the path to mending from addiction.That “mistake” that relapse is often seen as, is often an opportunity for introspection that can very well strengthen a person. It can help them see more clearly what they want out of their journey.
Similarly, a person with mental health difficulties who attempts suicide or has a reoccurrence in self-harm or goes through a mental health challenge of some sort isn’t out of their recovery because of being symptomatic or of having that suicide attempt. Everything “negative” we experience in life can hold an opportunity to reveal something powerful within us, such as a new way to express compassion and grace towards ourselves. It may not be something positive or something to aspire to go through, but it doesn’t solely have to carry a negative weight.
The world around us seems to want to avoid the tough times. However, we can reframe that perspective of fear, shame, and resentment of adversity with an approach of appreciation for how they show us more about ourselves and what we’d like to work towards. Recovery does not mean never relapsing, recovery does not mean perfect mental health, or perfect anything.
Recovery is made of mistakes, and that’s more than okay. It’s actually pretty powerful, in many ways. We get to do that, we get to make mistakes and it’s a force for empowerment and self-discovery. We get to make mistakes and we get to not be okay and watch ourselves climb out of the turmoil. In that turmoil, in making those mistakes and in not being okay, we develop tools and new coping strategies that show us how we are strong, resilient, resourceful and capable.
In those times, our need for connection comes to light and we find communities, chosen family and meaning in relationships with others that understand us. We find people that empathize with us and remind us that we are never truly alone in this human experience.
Those darkest times have the capability to show us the most beautifully aspects of ourselves and our strength, and lead us to connections that build us up and give us hope. Hard times don’t only have to produce hurt and shame, we can flourish from them, and that is the unstoppable spark of recovery. So, I truly believe we are never out of recovery, because we are the experts on ourselves and we are in recovery when we say we are. I think that recovery begins when we open up our hearts to understanding ourselves better and when we venture into world of self-awareness and introspection.
I feel that when that moment of recovery awakens, the moment that the light sparks where one desires within them to embark on a healing journey, it doesn’t really ever stop, even if we falter. There’s no stopping it, any misstep or obstacle is a part of the experience. Recovery is not linear, and it only deepens and evolves as you navigate and embrace life and its trials.
